Folks, please keep the conversation going till July 3!

I know I have said this like a hundred times now, but I am really going to miss all of you folks for the next 2 weeks. Perhaps, sometimes, we don’t fully appreciate what it means to be an Indian and all the freedoms we have in our great country. Until we have to go to a country that truly doesn’t believe in liberty…

But you know me, I’m always up for something new. So, I am psyched! I wish I could see every corner of the world before I die. Ideally, I would add space too as a destination, but that doesn’t seem like it’s gonna happen.. 🙂 Although I wouldn’t wanna stop dreaming 🙂

Neways, reader Raj Dharm yesterday wrote in with a great idea. Perhaps you folks could keep commenting and talking and discussing in the comments thread below. These two weeks could actually help us in building a better knit community among our readers!

As you folks know, the comments thread on my blog is open and so your comments should keep appearing automatically. As long as you have commented at least once in the past, all your comments should show up immediately.

But, please note that sometimes WordPress tends to hold back comments for moderation for no reason at all. I have had  a few occasions when I have found comments from regular commenters stuck in the moderation queue. I don’t know why. But since I won’t be around these next 2 weeks to check the moderation queue, please don’t be disappointed if WordPress eats up your comment. Just try posting it again…

I’ll be waiting to see what’s being discussed when I open up the page again on July 3 🙂

Till then, take care, hold tight and don’t let the Mameluks bite 🙂

Cheers,

Chaiwallah

 

Why Shiv Sena is about to jump off an electoral cliff

Folks, I just remembered. Shiv Sena is supposed to be an ally. I just thought I would say that because laughter is supposed to be a really good thing.

Anyways..

If there is one party of sore losers that has been nipping at BJP’s heels for a while, it’s the Shiv Sena. But RW generally choose to laugh off the Shiv Sena and roll their eyes each time the Sena starts bawling like a kid throwing a tantrum in the desserts aisle at the supermarket. Nevertheless, I thought I would just collect a few thoughts here about the Sena, partly to gloat and perhaps…maybe…if there is some Sena man with half an iota of common sense reading this…to tell them that they are about to jump off a cliff. After all they are still technically an ally and I have some respect for Balasaheb Thackeray…

So, who was that? Was it Sanjay Raut the other day who said Modi rule is worse than the Nizam? I don’t know about that, but  if Shiv Sena doesn’t want to be worse off than CPIM in a few years, they better listen and stop working on whatever “plan” they think they are working on…

You know, Shiv Sena…in our democracy, incumbent governments get thrown out all the time. Voters get angry and kick out one party, fall in love with another and then five years later, they suddenly are back in love with the previous one…happens all the time. No biggie. But you know who gets genuinely punished by the voters? You know who gets squeezed out of the electoral system altogether?

Parties like YOU. Like Shiv Sena, who are enjoying in power AND still bellyaching about it. Because you are enjoying power, the public gives you no points for anti-incumbency. And because you keep bellyaching about the ruling party, the public gives you no points for achievements of the government. You simply become the negative, non-constructive force, a drag on our resources and a drain on our patience. People stop giving a damn about you, they roll their eyes and laugh derisively. In the next election, they forget about you.

The *best* example of this would be the CPIM and UPA-I. The CPIM contributed nothing to that government except unending negativity. And so when India gave a pro-incumbency verdict in 2009, the CPIM found itself nowhere in the picture. It was neither seen as ruling nor in the opposition. It was forgotten.

I must mention here that I believe Amit Shah’s Maharashtra gambit is one of his magnificent, definitely at par with his 73/80 innings in UP. Snapping a decades old alliance with Shiv Sena barely 3 weeks before the election in a mammoth state like Maharashtra is no joke. When ties were snapped, there were less than 3 full days for candidates to file nominations. Such was the confusion that the Sakal Times (actually a fairly reputable publication) reported that BJP had failed to file nominations for some 3 dozen seats! Yes, the BJP fell 19 seats short in Maharashtra playing such a risky innings, but it flipped a decades old alliance on its head in just a month. Overnight BJP went from No. 4 to No. 1 in Maharashtra, from junior partner of Sena to winning twice as many seats as the Sena! The BJP won 123 seats, whereas for the last two decades the BJP had been allowed to contest just 117 seats under the alliance formula! Add to this the fact that Maharashtra has always been a core Congress state (until 2014, Congress had ruled Maharashtra for all but 4 years since independence…this probably makes Maharashtra the state that has spent max number of years under Congress). Consider the size of the state and the blow that it struck to the Congress…don’t forget that Maharashtra is a big moneybag state! Amit Shah’s Maharashtra flip might be BJP’s single biggest achievement of this decade….Maharashtra is bigger than Karnataka, so this eclipses the 2008 victory there.

So, let me sketch a simple picture for what is going to happen to the Shiv Sena. It is going to spend 5 years kicking and screaming and irritating everyone, but still enjoying the red beacon cars. One special feature of Maharashtra is that the poll happens within 4-5 months of the Lok Sabha election, thus giving a huge advantage to the ruling party at the Center. This is the main reason the Congress managed to hold power in Maharashtra in 2004 and 2009, despite the truly pathetic performance of the state government. Okay, what happens to Maharashtra if Modi loses in 2019? First of all, it won’t happen. Secondly, if it does happen, Congress will win back Maharashtra and BJP would be the main opposition. What will be left for Shiv Sena to do?

Now on to the more likely scenario. There will be LS polls in 2019, which I believe BJP is going to win. And Modi-II will be in no mood to offer the Sena an alliance in the state assembly polls, that too so soon after a Lok Sabha win. Suffice to say that in 2019 the BJP will be much better prepared than in 2014…and it wont fall short of 19 seats. It won’t need the Sena any more. Neither will the opposition.

Where does that leave the Shiv Sena? In the dustbin. Fortunately, it belongs there…

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Uttar Pradesh: How the Dalit card backfired spectacularly on the idea of India

Friends, the mother of all state elections is approaching. Obviously, over the next 8 months or so, we will be discussing Uttar Pradesh over and over and over again, analyzing every possible aspect of the election. So, why not get started today?

For a while now, Dr. Praveen Patil, who runs 5Forty3 has been speaking about something called “United Spectrum of Hindu votes” (USHV). As and when we see even a shade of unity among Hindu votes, we know the potent electoral verdict that comes out, Assam being the latest case in point.  But the crowning glory of USHV has been the 73/80 that the BJP got in Uttar Pradesh in 2014, a victory that swept away decades of smug liberal intellectualism… On the morning of May 16, 2014, the ABP news “expert” on Uttar Pradesh strolled into the studio and said confidently that there was no way BJP could cross 35 in the state. By the way, this venerable person is still a regular on the ABP news panel as an “expert” on Uttar Pradesh, with additional charge of Bihar….

Anyways…

Last year, during yet another discussion on ABP News on Bihar, the BJP spokesperson asserted that Dalits would vote for BJP in a big way. The mocking was immediate, with an expert interrupting the BJP spokesperson with something like this:

“What are you saying, sir? How will Thakurs vote with Musahars Dalits? What are you even talking about? Are you nuts?”

Turns out that the Thakurs did actually vote with Dalits in Bihar. Yes, the Muslim-Yadav-Kurmi vote proved too powerful to overturn and so the Mameluks in the media got a chance to gloss over their errors in analysis. Nevertheless, the errors remained, no matter whether they were acknowledged or not. 

There is something the “experts” are getting wrong, despite their claim to having “ears on the ground”. That’s because they are only hearing what they want to hear. Let me break this to the experts, as loudly and clearly as possible:

The Dalit vote has ceased to exist.

 

What I mean is that the Dalit vote has ceased to exist in a sense that would be useful to the “idea of India” crowd. For decades, the secular jamaat has looked to the Dalit vote in the same way as the Muslim vote, expecting the Dalits to vote in a manner inimical to the so called “sawarna” Hindus. “Hindutva” was painted as a form of upper caste Hindu imposition that would be resented by Dalits and Muslims alike. This is why Mayawati/Kanshi Ram/BSP  have always been overpraised by the secular jamaat. Slogans such as “Tilak tarazu aur talwar, inko maaro joote chaar” once raised by BSP used to warm the hearts of the idea of India crowd.

For friends who might not speak Hindi, this slogan translates to:

“Throw shoes at the people with Tilak (Brahmins), Tarazu (Vaishyas) and Talwar (Kshatriyas)…”

Surely you see why the secular crowd loved this idea. Secular India rejoiced at the idea of a permanent caste war among Hindus, where every step towards a Hindu Bharat would be stopped in its tracks by the Dalit vote. They thought Dalits and the “upper” castes could never come together.

Well, wake up secular jamaatis, the dream is over.

In fact, the dream has been over for a long time and much much before 2014 when Dalits voted en masse for “upper caste BJP”. Let me take you much further back to Uttar Pradesh 2007.

In 2007, Mayawati stunned the nation by winning a clear majority in UP for the first time in a generation. Her secret?

Dalit + Brahmin

Her slogan?

Brahman shankh bajayega, haathi badhta jayega” (Brahmins will blow the shankh to welcome as the BSP’s elephant advances)

At that time, the secular jamaatis celebrated, because Maya’s victory had pushed BJP to a distant third in Uttar Pradesh. But they didn’t realize the full impact of what had just happened in Uttar Pradesh. The  enmity between upper caste vote and Dalit vote had just been washed away. THAT is where the real damage happened to the secular jamaat. If Brahmin votes could go to the so called Dalit party, Dalit votes could also go to the so called upper caste party.. The secular jamaat failed to anticipate this situation. They were still stuck asking questions like:

“How can Thakurs vote with Dalits”?

Well, they can. They have been doing so in many elections for a long time. For sure, the vote is dominated by caste considerations, but the Dalit vote is no longer inimical to the “upper” caste vote. Who will get the Dalit vote in a specific election will depend on local factors, local caste equations, but Dalits no longer give a damn about the secular project of destroying Hindutva.

In 2007, the beneficiary was Mayawati. In 2014, the beneficiary was Modi. Nobody knows who will be the winner in 2017. But, the bottomline is that BOTH Dalit voters and upper caste voters are now fully transferable between BSP and BJP. As Mayawati aggressively woos Brahmins for 2017, Dalit voters don’t care:

On the flip side, as the BJP aggressively woos Dalits for 2017, the “upper” caste voters don’t care either.

The mutual suspicion has vanished. And that means it’s game over for the secular jamaat.

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#RSpolls : Full marks to Raghubar Das and Manohar Lal

There is a very popular saying in Hindi that says :

जब सीधी ऊँगली से घी  ना निकले, तो ऊँगली टेढ़ी करनी  पड़ती है  ।

(When you can’t get the ghee out with a straight finger, it’s time to bend the finger)

The BJP won the Lok Sabha elections with a clear majority and went on to win several states, including the mammoth Maharashtra. Yet, the nation was treated to a curious spectacle where the unelected Rajya Sabha snatched the reins of power in Delhi and the Congress effectively returned as India’s ruling party.

NEVER, I repeat NEVER in my life had I known that the Rajya Sabha could thus rule the country with a free hand. Several parties such as DMK, BSP, JDU, RJD  actually boast more Rajya Sabha MPs than Lok Sabha MPs! Wait…how could I forget 🙂 So, does the Congress! The Congress has 50+ MPs in the Rajya Sabha and only 45 in the Lok Sabha!

But the gates of power have begun to open and they can’t keep the people out any more. Enough! Enough is enough! I have had enough of parties with 0 MPs in the Lok Sabha lecturing the BJP on how to run the country. So, in the Rajya Sabha, they say cross voting…I say well done! In Hindi, there is another famous saying:

कुत्ते की दुम कभी सीधी नहीं होती।

(A street dog’s tail will not become straight by itself…)

The BJP had to straighten the street dog’s tail…

Very very well done. An epic smackdown for the Congress in Haryana and Jharkhand. Somehow, while the Haryana episode has been discussed a lot in the media, Jharkhand was neglected as usual. But, the Rajya Sabha seat that BJP snatched in Jharkhand is worth every bit as much as the seat it snatched in Haryana. Full marks to Raghubar Das and Manohar Lal. Congress can go to hell. Madam ji, you can run the country again as and when you reach 100 seats in the Lok Sabha again with support from all your slaves in JDU or RJD or BSP or SP or AAP or DMK…whatever. Till then, why don’t you cool your heels in the opposition benches?

And the Congress can stop whining, because votes were “managed” in Karnataka too. We all saw the sting operation on the buying of votes. Pity…the Congress has like 3 governments left in the whole of India and still 2 of them are caught in sting operations (Uttarakhand and Karnataka). The Grand Old Party always manages to stay the market leader in corruption no matter what…

And as a special gift from Modi ji, the Congress can now enjoy the rebellion in their ranks in Haryana. You can fight with your own local leader B S Hooda in Haryana, just like you are fighting Ajit Jogi in Chhattisgarh and Captain in Punjab. Let us know what comes of it… By appointing Kamal Nath, with his promiment 1984 association, as Cong in-charge of Punjab, you have offered the state to AAP on a platter. Very good. Congress is eagerly working to finish itself off..

But it is Jharkhand that gave me the most joy, where BJP won both the RS seats on offer. By ordinary calculations, they would have got one seat and the opposition would have got the other. But the BJP fielded two candidates and cleverly used the fact that the Opposition was not using any second preference votes. After that, it was a simple matter, especially this:

In the end, the Opposition was left ruing the absence of JMM MLA Chamra Linda and Congress legislator Devendra Singh, who failed to reach the assembly. Of the two, it was Linda’s absence, following his arrest, that sent the political temperature in the state soaring with police detaining him at a private hospital in Ranchi on Friday, where he had been admitted. “What we have seen in Jharkhand is shocking. Just before voting, three MLAs were issued warrants of arrest, and two of them could not vote for the fear of being arrested. The kind of money and muscle power that the BJP government has used to win these elections is disturbing,” said Congress spokesperson R P N Singh.

(http://indianexpress.com/article/india/politics/jharkhand-rajya-sabha-polls-missing-mlas-a-winning-formula-2848143/)

Ah! Jharkhand! That name should bring back sweet memories for the Congress of how they repeatedly murdered democracy in that state. Remember? Remember how in 2005, the Jharkhand Governor crowned Shibu Soren as Chief Minister even though the BJP had more seats and more MLAs supporting it? Remember how in 2005, Deputy CM Stephen Marandi and Bandhu Tirkey forcibly boarded the plane carrying NDA MLAs to Delhi for parading before the President? Ha! The BJP had secretly smuggled its MLAs out by train to Odisha and planted a decoy plane to throw Madam’s dogs off the trail…

कुछ याद आया?  Remember anything? हम नहीं भूले, हम नहीं भूलते… We haven’t forgotten. We don’t forget…

Jharkhand has been the scene of repeated murder of democracy. Today when the Congress is getting the short end of the stick, they want to whine, don’t they?

There’s more. In 2009,  two Rajya Sabha seats in Jharkhand had fallen vacant. Going by the arithmetic in the Assembly, the UPA would have got 1 seat and the BJP would have gotten the other. So, what did the Election Commission do? The Election Commission decided to hold polls to the 2 seats separately, which meant that the ruling UPA in the Assembly got BOTH seats!

(http://www.hindustantimes.com/india/ec-favouring-upa-in-rajya-sabha-polls-bjp/story-mmD2t6xHCYoZL81J8iCCFO.html)

Please take a moment to understand how the RS seat was stolen in 2009 with EC support. Rajya Sabha seats are won on the basis of proportional representation. But if you hold the poll for each seat separately, the ruling party will win every single seat because it has a majority in the Assembly. For instance, 11 RS seats from Uttar Pradesh voted the other day. Due to proportional representation, the results were:

SP 7 BSP 2 BJP 1 Cong 1

But imagine if the EC had decided that the voting for these 11 seats will be held separately on 11 different days. Then, since the SP has a majority in UP Assembly, it would win the election on every one of those 11 days and the results would be:

SP 11 Others 0

But the Election Commission cheated in Jharkhand by holding the RS poll for each seat separately. This is how they steamrolled democracy in 2009. Now they have come to whine.. Get used to it, seculars. This is how it will be from now on… You started it.

There is one more saying in Hindi, which perhaps cannot be translated well :

लातों के भूत बातों से नहीं मानते  |

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Is Baba Ramdev to blame for the Orlando shooting?

After two days of dithering, we have a winner. Liberals have picked the man who was really to blame for the Orlando attack. Wonder what took them so long…

Two days ago, when the Orlando shooting story was still breaking, our secular intellectual Agent Ayyub put out this attacking, sarcastic tweet:

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Later, as more details about this story began to roll in, Agent Ayyub grew defensive for some mysterious reason… Today it appears that the tweet itself has been deleted. Wonder why…why didn’t Agent Ayyub complete her thought? The best response to this now deleted tweet came from Yashwant:

Nevertheless…

I must say there are some times when I look at a Mameluk article and break into a broad smile. This is one of those times. This is one of those times when you cannot help but roll your eyes. Here’s the headline in The Quint:

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And so does stupidity, but never mind.

Admit it folks. You chuckled too when you read this headline. Who carried out the shooting? A peaceful. Where did the shooting happen? America. In whose name was the shooting carried out? ISIS. Who are the liberals going to blame? Baba Ramdev, of course…

You have to feel sorry for liberals on this one. For long, it has filled me with astonishment, and I am sure you have felt likewise, about the contradiction at the heart of modern liberalism. How can modern liberalism claim to be vocal about equality of women, rights of homosexuals and gender queer persons, free speech, freedom of religion, etc. when it is constantly coddling militant Islam at the same time? How can liberals be in favor of freedom and still support Hamas and Hezbollah against the only democracy in the Middle East? The same goes for liberals and Communism. In India we are used to the unreal spectacle of avowed Commies, cheering fans of Stalin lecturing us on free speech and democracy!! I mean…what’s next, will they raise Heil Hitler slogans to show how much they are opposed to anti-Semitism?

Nevertheless, this working partnership between Communism, elite liberalism and rabid Islamism has blossomed over the years. But the extreme contradictions are bound to bubble up every now and then, causing embarrassment to the zamindars of liberalism. Every now and then an Omar Mateen comes along and sticks the liberals between a rock and a hard place: are they going to make excuses for militant Islamism or stand up for the most basic, fundamental right of homosexuals: to live! How are they going to reconcile this? They can’t blame Islam. After all, Muslims are the helpless oppressed “minority” of 1.6 billion people who control 57 nations across the world; they can’t be blamed for anything. On the other hand, how are liberals going to tell the LGBTQ community that they are passionate about transgender bathroom access, but not about the right of homosexuals not to be mass-murdered by peacefuls?

Should the liberal blame the peacefuls? Should the liberal blame the homosexuals?

There is ONE way out…

Blame Ramdev Baba!

Genius!

So, how is Baba Ramdev to blame here? This has to be fun… Let’s find out:

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Ha ha…nice one. Baba Ramdev should take “responsibility” for his words in the media because someone might walk into a gay night club and kill people. Apparently, Baba Ramdev’s fault is magnified for two further reasons: he has political backing AND he influences millions. 

Let’s try this line of argument in other contexts. Let us consider Nitish Kumar’s recent call for a Sangh mukt Bharat.

Political backing for Nitish ? Check!

Nitish Kumar influences millions? Check!

OMG! The next time an RSS worker is slaughtered, you guys now know who needs to take “responsibility”…

And what of all the intellectuals, TV reporters and the like who are irresponsibly promoting this Nitish Kumar? Will they all say sorry to the families of murdered RSS workers and the organization at large? Or will they run away from their responsibility?

What about all these liberals writing everyday spewing venom at the RSS? Will they take responsibility when a Sangh worker is murdered?

So who is this Suhasini Krishnan that wrote this article? Obviously, I can’t be sure this is the same Suhasini Krishnan, but a google search shows that this is just a baby intellectual:

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History student at St. Stephens? The nut doesn’t fall very far from the tree, does it? Oh young one, you came to the right place! You are already hanging out with the right crowd at Huffington post. You won’t have to be a student at St. Stephens for long, you have a long rewarding career ahead of you studying gender discrimination at Columbia and all where you can do your graduate thesis on “Why Hindus are monsters”, etc… For history buffs like you, I can suggest a career path in Aurangazeb glorification; it is a hot new field of research that has just opened up…

One more thing you might need is a Twitter account where you can lie in wait for ONE random RW tweeter who throws a word of abuse at you. Then, you can tell the entire world wide web about the trauma caused by that tweet…  Then throw in a couple more insults at “bhakts” and you are all set for the big leagues…

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JNU videos were genuine but Kejriwal was a masterful liar

I believe it is Ravinar of Mediacrooks.com who used to repeat the line “LIE BIG RETRACT SMALL”. Because in media and politics, the truth doesn’t matter. Only the narrative and the storyline matters. The media created the “church attacks”.  The media created  the Dadri lynching. The media crafted the doctored JNU videos.

No, not literally. The media did not tell some gambler to go throw a stone at a church in Mumbai. The media did not tell some thief to steal Rs 8000 from a missionary school in Delhi. The media did not tell someone to go steal cattle in Dadri, neither did the media carry out the actual murder.

But the media gets to pick and choose what we remember and which possibilities are played up at what time. THAT is the sense in which media invents these stories. Later on, long after the stories have run their course, these smug Lutyensites actually recline indulgently and often taunt us openly by saying that “mistakes were made”. One prominent journo sued and silenced a poor blogger for criticizing her 2008 Mumbai terror reporting and then years later admitted in an interview to Madhu Trehan that “mistakes were made” that might have helped the enemy. She must have felt good while making that confession… the smug joy of having done something and gotten away with it.

Another prominent Lutyensite recently wrote in her column that media might have been guilty of exaggerating the church attacks…it was a big F**k you to us all. What she was really saying was: yes we lied and it worked, what are you going to do about it now?

And so, not surprisingly, the JNU doctored videos story goes the same way: get this!

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Whaaat?

Come again please… 

Did someone just say:

In its final report, the CFSL has stated that the raw video footage of the Feb 9 incident on JNU campus aired on Zee News was authentic

Whaat?

Will every single journo and intellectual who talked about “doctored videos” please render an unconditional apology to Zee News and all the “bhakts” ? And you know what? They just might. In some cozy interview, many many years later, they might smugly admit that they were wrong. Who cares? They spread the lie successfully when it mattered, didn’t they? Who cares now? That story has run its course.

Whichever way you look at the JNU story, there is no doubt that the masterful Kejriwal has just shown the world how to lie with aplomb. I remember when the videos first came out and the Left was totally on the mat. Even some leftie loons wrote in the DailyO not exactly condemning the video, but scolding the over-enthusiastic cadres at JNU for being dumb enough to be so open about their treason.  Then, some journos on Twitter began a whisper campaign calling the videos “doctored”. I don’t remember precisely who started it, but if my memory isn’t playing tricks on me, I think Simon Sharma was among the first few to jump into this campaign.

And then the master liar Kejriwal played his innings.

Kejriwal quickly took some random videos from who knows where and sent them off to some random “Truth Labs” somewhere in Hyderabad run by his friends. It didn’t matter at all that Truth Labs isn’t accredited by NABL. Kejriwal knew that his media friends would take care of those little details. Then Truth Labs faithfully sent back a report to Kejriwal saying the videos were doctored. It was now a simple matter for 526 crore media to claim that the videos had been proved to be doctored.

Let’s not get angry over what Kejriwal did. Let’s appreciate his guile. This was smart politics. He proved nimble footed in his response. Would Rahul Gandhi have thought of quickly inventing some “Truth Labs” and getting the videos discredited by this unaccredited Lab? I don’t think so. But Kejriwal was resourceful; he managed to fight the perception battle brilliantly on television. The question is, why didn’t BJP invent its own “Satya Labs” 2 days before Kejriwal discovered “Truth Labs” and get the videos certified as genuine? Why couldn’t the BJP have paid off people in the media to say that CFSL has already found the videos to be genuine? As I said before, truth doesn’t matter here, only the narrative does.

Even when Kanhaiya’s history of exposing himself to women came out of the closet, the BJP was only half-successful in making it a nationwide headline. Kanhaiya becomes a celebrity throwing every possible slur at Narendra Modi. And the BJP gets a massive opportunity when Kanhaiya is caught quite literally with his pants down misbehaving with a woman. This should have been enough for the ruling party to create a storm and sink Kanhaiya Kumar. The woman in question was furious with Kanhaiya Kumar (and why shouldn’t she be?). The BJP could have finished Kanhaiya Kumar’s career then and there, gotten him rusticated from college by pressing the issue. But the BJP was flat footed and let go of the opportunity. Yes, he has retreated into his dark hole now, but the BJP came out looking weak and unable to pick its opportunities.

What do you guys think?

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Resurrect The Rapist: Liberals need Tejpal’s magic fingers in the fight against Modi!

Ha! It’s finally happened. India’s liberal conscience has decided that it’t time to call Tarun Tejpal for reinforcements. Here is the article in Mid-Day calling for a “re-think” on the great anti-communal crusader Shri Tarun Tejpal.

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Before I say anything else, let me point out that this is, first and foremost, a slap on the face of the likes of Kanhaiya Kumar and Hardik Patel. Your liberal sponsors have given up on you… You guys tried your best but it simply wasn’t enough. Dear Kanhaiya, they even looked into your pants hoping to find the magical elixir they need to destroy the dragon called Modi. But the fountain of your youth has failed to revive them…

Dear Rajdeep, dear Barkha, dear Sagarika, dear Kumar Ketkar, *this* article is a massive vote of no confidence in your abilities. Liberal India has lost faith in your efforts to take on the Prime Minister. C’mon Rajdeep, all you have offered by way of opposing Modi is one successful fistfight against ONE Modi supporter in faraway New York. Modi has 170 million supporters; was this your grand plan to stop Modi? Fight his supporters one at a time? C’mon genius, even Rahul Gandhi would have thought of a better plan. Other than that, there was the time Raju cried for attention by running away from Twitter for a few days. That’s IT? ROFL!

C’mon Sagarika, your idea of destroying Modi was to take potshots at his shawl? C’mon Mihir Sharma, all you got was whether he was wearing headphones? And Barkha, you have to do better than occasional newsbreaks seeded by “Ankit from IIT”. If these were your grand plans to stop Modi, can you really blame Indian liberals from exploring other options?  It was  about time they brought  in the “big boys” with their big …. ummm … well … fingers … to begin the battle against Modi in right earnest.

So, it is time that you frontline Mameluks out there listened to the whispers coming from your cadre. Listen to what they are saying:

Has the time come to reassess our response to the Tarun Tejpal THINK brouhaha now that the need for strong liberal voices is called for?

Hear that? That’s the Mameluk cadre speaking in an unsigned article, calling for “strong” leadership. They want “strong” leadership that really takes on Modi, not the idiots whose best idea so far was to attack Modi’s shawl…

They say desperate times call for desperate measures. This is no time to worry about irrelevant details like rape. After all, what does it matter if some smalltime reporter has to go through a bit of secular rape every now and then? The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. In these desperate times, top level MSM journos cannot get so much as a free ride on the Prime Minister’s plane. Can you imagine the day to day plight of the peeps much lower on the ladder?

No doubt Tejpal had committed a grave error … but was there really need for such a vociferous dragging through the coals?

Indeed, this is no time to be hindered by these grave errors. We can take stock of these little grave errors later when life is normal. Even terrorists who had come to do “chota mota blasts” are generally forgiven because of the larger cause of fighting Modi.

And that’s when Modi was just a Chief Minister of one state. Now he is a ruling PM with 281 seats. Can you really expect a liberal to give a damn about these chota mota grave errors now that India is faced with the spectre of Modi’s fascism? You must be kidding.

This line of thinking has been finding more and more takers especially now when regressive thoughts and actions seem to rule

Indeed, generations of Indians will look back in shame at that moment in 2013 when the Indian media failed to protect a rapist in their midst. Why did they drag him over the coals? Why didn’t the media do its real job and discredit the character of the victim? What kind of girl from a good family gets into an elevator alone with her boss? Did the media check whether the girl had a boyfriend (and god forbid…even past boyfriends…shudder!!) and came from a good family with good morals? Did the media find out the length of the dress the girl was wearing that day, which might have tempted Tejpal? No, the media didn’t do any of these important investigations properly. And now that Tejpal has gone down the drain, who will save us from the regressive mindset that BJP has unleashed upon the country? Who can we turn to except for the progressive rapists to show us the way ahead…?

As I pointed out before, the *real* news here is the part about “more and more takers” for the Tejpal revival squad. Liberal cadres are upset at the ineptness of their leadership and their blatant failure to dig up dirt on Modi. It is time for Tarun Tejpal, the king of slime, to pick up the battle axe. Let the great warrior wrap his magic fingers around the axe of truth and let out his war cry…It is time for Indian liberals to stop doing penance that lacerates them and start giving out punishment that lacerates their enemies…

And you better learn something, little Kanhaiya Kumar, you don’t expose yourself before a woman and pee like a fool to win the day for liberal values .. you have to use your fingers like a professional…

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#UdtaFile: As Laloo ji celebrates 69th birthday, fodder scam files fly away

I thought I would post about this on June 8 itself when the news broke, but then I realized it was best to wait until June 11 when our great secular leader Laloo Ji celebrates his 69th birthday. Here is a file photo of the two great secular revolutionaries of Bihar who ended up as durbaris at 10 Janpath

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My day began with the news that Bihar’s 16%  Chief Minister has reached the residence of Laloo ji with warm wishes and tributes. But Laloo ji is no ordinary birthday boy. He is not satisfied with some cake and candles. No, Laloo ji needs real makkhan and malai with his fodder and this was brought to him by Nitish ji…

” BJP on Wednesday hit out at the Nitish Kumar government in Bihar after files reportedly linked to the fodder scam went missing, saying it shows how power was being used to bury cases related to the scandal in which RJD chief Lalu Prasad has been convicted.

First of all, you have to appreciate the language used by mainstream media when it comes to secular politicians. Notice the word “reportedly”. Words like “reportedly”, ” allegedly”, etc miraculously appear whenever there is a possibility that someone not linked to BJP may be at fault. Suddenly the media becomes a stickler for solid journalistic ethics and focus on facts…the only time the media feels at liberty to report confidently on the basis of hearsay is when, for instance, someone throws a stone into a church. That is the only time pure speculation can be written as hard hitting news reporting and analysis.

The disappearance of fodder files is yet another feather in the cap of media’s beloved PM candidate Nitish Kumar. Ever since he ascended to the throne of Bihar winning a historic 16% of the vote, Nitish ji has mounted a crusade against thoughtcrime and speechcrime in Bihar… The official history of Bihar on the government website has been rewritten to remove the memory of crimes against Jayprakash Narayan by Indira G. The files related to fodder scam are disappearing… oh I’m sorry…they are ” reportedly” disappearing. Meanwhile dangerous young 19 year olds are being “reportedly” killed on the streets of Bihar for daring to drive past the expensive cars of secular politicians. In a renewed emphasis on freedom of expression, opposition politicians are being ” reportedly” killed off, sometimes more than one dissenter per day…

Here is a fresh crime that “reportedly” happened in Bihar today, this one “reportedly” from Nitish ji’s home stretch of Nalanda:

Locals blocked the road? Where will JDU’s secular zamindars drive their expensive cars now? These locals better get ready for a dose of secular justice…

Don’t worry about Bihar’s #UdtaFiles. Worry about Udta Punjab instead…

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Modiji, please end all censorship : Liberals will be *begging* to get it back

At the peak of the Lok Sabha election campaign in early 2014, Her Highness Princess Priyanka Gandhi described then PM candidate Narendra Modi as a “neech”. No one cared. Life moved on.

In late 2014, Sadhvi Niranjan Jyoti, a mere first time MP and Minister of State, described the BJP’s rivals as “haraamzade“. The nation ground to a halt. Parliament came to a standstill. The Prime Minister personally apologized on behalf of Niranjan Jyoti in both houses. It was more than 2 weeks before the nation recovered from the shock of Sadhvi Niranjan Jyoti’s intemperate language. At the exact same time, Mamata Banerjee, Chief Minister of Bengal, ex-Cabinet minister and multiple term MP/MLA threatened to put bamboos into the backsides of her political opponents. Not even a leaf stirred. In fact, an eminent writer for Firstpost wrote back to back articles within 24 hours, the first decrying Niranjan Jyoti for shocking the nation and the second decrying a handful of BJP purists who were refusing to see the earthy humor in Mamata Banerjee’s words.. Secularism made all the difference.

Of course it helped that Mamata Banerjee was born as a Hindu Brahmin and Niranjan Jyoti was from a very “low” caste.

Cut to 2016. The same week CPI worker Kanhaiya Kumar was famously sent to jail for sedition, Commies slaughtered a BJP worker in Kerala. While Kanhaiya’s few days in jail became evidence of fascism, the BJP worker’s death was smoothly written off for purposes of secularism.

And now, with film censors wanting to make deep cuts in Anurag Kashyap’s film Udta Punjab, the free speech frauds have begun their dog and pony show once again. I take free speech extremely seriously.  I’ll come back in a moment to why I call them free speech  frauds. 

India’s record on free speech has always been abysmal. Well, almost. For a brief window of time, the Indian Republic allowed  real free speech. Until the RSS began using it. Pandit Nehru promptly corrected this defect in the Constitution by passing the First Amendment in 1951, imposing “reasonable restrictions” on free speech, along with a monopoly for himself on the definition of “reasonable”.

But even as the free speech situation in India sucked, there was at least a hint of fairness to it because it sucked equally for everyone. You were dragged in front of the courts if you insulted Hindu gods (or painted them in the nude). Neither could you make any insults or jokes about Jesus or Prophet M. In the political sphere, the rightwing was slowly granted an increasing right to speak and the oppression became less blatant over the years. The Indian citizens who were members of the RSS were granted their fundamental human right to speak their mind on the condition that they give up their fundamental human right to take part in the politics of their own country! Even today the Leftists in India actually boast of this and other day I even saw AAP spokesperson Ashutosh on TV demanding that the RSS/BJP be banned for “breaking the promise”of not participating in politics. The idea that prominent left wing parties can hold their head high and say openly that India’s largest political party with 170 million votes, 281 elected LS MPs and 9 Chief Ministers should be shut down by force of law for the “crime” of contesting elections says everything you could possibly say about free speech in India.

But hey, at least these days they don’t actually ban the RSS/BJP, they just talk about it. The last attempt to ban the BJP was made in 2007, when the Election Commission summoned them to a de-recognition hearing because the EC felt a campaign CD produced by them was “communal”. Yes, the country’s biggest opposition party made a CD that the state did not approve of and so they tried to ban the opposition…this does not just happen in Gaddafi’s Libya, Stalin’s USSR, Kim Il Sung’s North Korea and Hitler’s Germany…it also happened in India. If any of the so called intellectuals who support free speech and dissent nowadays have spoken up for the right of the BJP to exist in 2007, please let me know…

So, this is what I am saying. At least the EC didn’t ban the BJP. No one went too far. The compromise sucked, but at least everyone had to compromise a little bit. But recent events have led to a shattering of the compromise. Of late, there is a section that is pushing for full scale free speech apartheid, effectively asking for the creation of two classes, one that will enjoy full free speech rights and the other that will have absolutely none.

What does this mean? They want full freedom of speech for Commies like Kanhaiya Kumar. Scum like him have been repeatedly thrown into jail by various governments. But not any more now. Here is what they are demanding now: you don’t like what Kanhaiya says? No more sedition. They tell us right wingers  to get used to it. And with that,  they also tell us that we  should get used to right wingers being slaughtered by Commies. They get to do ALL the speaking. WE get to do all the tolerating. These are the contours of the new free speech apartheid being created in India. 

So, an Aam Aadmi Party gets to go on TV and demand that the RSS/BJP should be banned for the “crime” of participating in politics. And they get to demand that censor board should not use their scissors on the film Udta Punjab. And Arvind Kejriwal gets to go to the Supreme Court demanding that anyone who makes Santa Banta jokes should go to jail!

Get it? THEY will have ALL the rights. WE will have none.

That’s the free speech apartheid they are pushing for now.

So Kamlesh Tiwari must go to jail. The kid in Karnataka who put up an FB post against Tipu Sultan must go to jail. Salman Rushdie must stay banned. The Bengali movie “Macho Mustafa” must be renamed due to a fatwa by UPA’s censor board to “Macho Mastana”(because apparently Mustafa is some name for the Prophet!), but BJP’s censor board should be silent. You will notice that all the protests are against the person currently occupying the censor board chief’s position, rather than the position itself. The protest is not against censorship, but against WHO is doing the censorship.

The ploy is being executed very cleverly by selectively highlighting the cases where the secular side gets the short end of the stick. BJP governments at various levels are still stuck enforcing the old rules where ALL SIDES get  screwed. For instance, Sanal Edamaraku is still on the run because the Church of Mumbai is angry with him. But Maharashtra has transitioned to a BJP government. Has Fadnavis dropped the case against Sanal Edamaraku and invited him back? No, because BJP is still playing by the old rules of censorship. Attack Hindu gods and go to jail. Attack the Church and go to jail.  Equal oppression for all. The BJP is caught completely unawares that someone is trying to change the rules of the game on censorship.

But Modi ji, it is very very easy to turn the game on its head. SIMPLY REMOVE ALL CENSORSHIP.  End the censor board, get rid of the anti-free speech laws against spreading “communal disharmony” and insulting religious sentiments, repeal sedition laws, repeal the defamation laws, repeal the laws against “insulting modesty of women” (see further note on this), strip the Election Commission of its powers to decide what can be said and cannot be said in rallies and election propaganda! Give us free speech and then see!

(Important Note on insulting modesty of women: This is a law that is often confused with the completely separate law against “outraging the modesty of women”. Insulting modesty is quite literally a law against talking rudely to a woman…this is the law most often used by female Lutyensites to silence RW tweeters. Please do not confuse this law with the law against “outraging the modesty of women”, which deals with the completely separate topic of molesting women, etc.) 

And here is my bet. Repeal all censorship and within a week, you will see the liberal types begging to get censorship back! 

You know why? Because WE right wingers are USED to getting treated like crap. It is the liberal whiny babies who will be the most butthurt should there be free speech. To take a trivial example, AIB’s comedian Tanmay Bhatt refers to Ganesh idols literally as pieces of shit. We have already learned to take stuff like that on the chin. But can the Archbishop take it? Imagine how pissed off the Archbishop will be when he finds out that he no longer has the fascist laws to chase Sanal Edamaraku out of the country or make AIB apologize. WE are already used to every Hindu symbol being trampled and insulted. But will seculars be able to live with Prophet cartoons?

Modi ji, what do YOU have to lose by abolishing censorship? They have already called you every possible name in the book. When your 95 year old mother has to go to hospital, TV channels run entire programs accusing her of faking her illness. What more can they do to you? They already mock you as a “Gangu Teli” and a “Chaiwallah”. But Congress can’t live with a book on Sonia ji like “El Sari Rojo”. Some visitor to a museum in Odisha leaves a comment against Nehru and Congress files FIR against him. Can the delicate Congress egos handle free speech? Modi is called a Nazi everyday….what new slur does he have to fear?

There are Commie malcontents at JNU already circulating posters depicting Durga as a prostitute. What more do we Hindus have to fear from free speech? What fresh insult is left for Hindus to face in this country? But will seculars be able to handle Salman Rushdie? Will seculars be able to handle it when Kamlesh Tiwari comes out of jail? Will seculars be able to handle it when “alternative interpretations” of the Book of Peace and the Book of Love begin to roll out. Secular whiny babies couldn’t tolerate a fantastic thriller movie like Da Vinci code, how will they handle *real free speech* when it is decriminalized?

Here, for instance, is the language the Censor Board wants to delete from Udta Punjab, which seculars are protesting:

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I beg you Modi ji, please remove the Censor Board and let this language become legal. Let someone dump this free speech on the Twitter timeline of some respected Lutyensite, possibly in more imaginative ways. Let the angry Lutyensite rush to the police station only to find out that the fascist laws she/he was using all these days to put the boot on RW tweets have all disappeared. Forget strong language, a certain top Lutyens journo once sued and silenced a poor blogger because he criticized her reporting…you think these people can handle free speech?

My favorite moment ever on social media was when “Reverend John Dayal” was so fed up with RW tweets against his crusade for freedom of expression that he went to the Delhi police to have these tweeters arrested for expressing their opinion 🙂 And at the police station, he was told that Twitter’s servers are located in the US and John Dayal came back grumbling about American style free speech laws. Which is funny, because Johnny likes to fly to the US to complain about freedom in India 🙂

So, let them have it. Give them what they are asking for. Let them find out what free speech is like 🙂

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Dear liberals, Karma can be a B*****

Ah…the joy!  Each time the US Congress stood up to give him yet another standing ovation, the liberal hearts at home bled. Dear liberals, tell me, does it hurt? How bad does it hurt? Are you crying? Send me your tears, because I want to swim in them, I want to soak in them.

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Yes, who knows Modi outside Gujarat? Let’s ask these guys who have gathered for his autograph…

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See now, if only you people had not lobbied the US government to deny him a simple entry visa, he could have signed all those autographs earlier and he wouldn’t have to stretch it out now. Btw, all you butthurt little journos who no longer get free rides with the  Prime Minister, here is a trick that you  can  use to get on his plane to America:  you know you folks could offer to serve tea to his fans gathered outside…

I’m telling you journos, give it a try. The PM could bring along a few Chaiwallahs to serve tea to his cheering fans who gathered outside Capitol Hill. Offer your services and see….

Now I want every liberal to listen carefully to the applause as Modi makes his grand entry.

I want you to feel the sting in every moment of that applause. Thanks liberals, this moment matters so much only because of you. As I said before, a grand welcome with lots of respect is kind of a daily thing in the life of a PM, a big yawn really. He must be used to it perhaps even bored of it by now. But it is YOU liberals who made every moment of this so special. If only you people had not lobbied against an ordinary entry visa, you would not be feeling so devastated now. You mocked him over a simple visa to enter the US. You asked him to go serve tea outside the meeting of the Indian National Congress. Now, he gets to take his revenge from the Central Hall of the United States House of Congress…

Hey, I even remember the name of one liberal  loser. Some Toorjo Ghose, a Gunga Din serving  in some bullshit studies department at the U of Pennsylvannia. I think this fellow circulated some petition against Modi’s speech at Wharton which got him some applause from sepoys in India and an interview with NDTV or something. Congratulations, Toorjo Ghose, you got to associate your name to Narendra Modi in at least one small  way. Your life is successful. Go in peace!

Do you feel small, dear liberals? Do you feel like your pathetic, whiny little protests have been crushed under the weight of Modi’s success? I know you do. Makes my day.

So, all of you whiny liberals…go try your luck. Go out of your miserable South Asia studies departments and gender studies departments and go to Capitol Hill. Take with you all the articles and books you have written over the years  explaining why Hindus are evil and casteists and this and that…Go to the people at Capitol Hill and show them everything you have done to badmouth India all your life so that your masters would recognize you as good Gunga Dins… see if they listen. They won’t care! Because they have their interests in mind and their interests mesh well with India’s interests. They don’t give a damn what pathetic little water carriers like you have to say. You know what they say…

Karma can be a …what’s the word… Ah…

Karma can be such a Barkha! 

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