Friends, let me start by telling you a story. It is in Bihar, during the dark days of Lalu’s unchallenged power. My mother was trying to make a turn into a narrow street where even one car could barely fit in. And along comes this RJD party worker wheeling a thela (cart) and blocks the road. There was no way my mother could make the turn as long as the RJD cart with a large cutout of Lalu Yadav was blocking the way.
Being rude or showing the slightest amount of anger/disrespect to an RJD worker was not an option. So my mom got out of the car and said to the guy in the most polite and subdued manner possible : “Bhaisaheb, could you please move the cart just a little so that we could pass?”
The worker looked up and yelled at my mother with tremendous aggression:
“Ha! How dare you? Dare touch this cutout and see…the whole city will be in flames”
The party thug then repositioned his cart to completely block the road. We beat a hasty retreat. My mother had to drive backwards nearly for half a kilometer to get out of the lane while the RJD goon enjoyed our plight and revelled in his power! The idea of India won a big victory that day over a middle aged woman and her school going child….
Well, that’s what street thugs do. Go around, picking fights with random people over small things….harassing and whistling at young women…etc, etc.
Now what happens when the idea of India gets so bankrupt that a street thug has to be made into a national icon? You get Kanhaiya Kumar!
““My hand just happened to brush his neck as I was trying to balance myself on an aching leg. I do not know him personally though I have seen his pictures. This is being done for cheap publicity,” Manas told reporters in Mumbai.”
That’s some guy apparently called Manas Deka, who was travelling on the same flight as His Excellency the President of JNUSU Shri Kanhaiya Kumar. Instantly, the student union thug began a fight.
Almost anyone who has had the misfortune of running into smalltime party thugs will recognize this pattern of behavior. In Bengal, these unemployed losers are called “Parar mastaan” (bullies of the neighborhood). People stayed away from them. Should you brush into a “mastaan” ever so slightly, you can expect a beating. In fact, often times, these losers will actually walk up to you and deliberately bump into you and start a fight…purely for timepass…because they have absolutely nothing else to do. And all these “mastaans” used to work for the Communist party.
This was the life of Kanhaiya Kumar before he was declared a national hero. You know…student union thug…who harasses random women…exposes himself in vulgar fashion, etc. etc. No future, no marketable skills…at some level you could almost feel sorry for them… spending their days beating up this guy and that guy and making catcalls at passing women.
Again, Kanhaiya continued with his verbal diarrhea:
ROFL! Arre Kanhaiya, this is not the School of International Studies at JNU where idle losers are getting paid by the government to pick fights on behalf of various political parties. This is a flight where paying customers are trying to get to their destinations, for work and family commitments. Spin a better story…
Oh wait…the losers at The Wire already spun a better story for you…
“Kumar was sitting in a middle seat, his friend Nishant who was travelling with him told The Wire. The incident occurred before the plane took off. “The man in the window seat was talking on the phone, we heard him say things like ‘I will take care of it as soon as I get a chance’” he said. “Then he suddenly got up, while still on the phone, and put one hand around Kanhaiya’s throat and started pressing. When Kanhaiya tried to remove the hand, the man dropped his phone and grabbed Kanhaiya’s throat with both hands. ”
ROFL! The man on the phone told someone he would “take care of it as soon as he got a chance” and then proceeded to strangle Kanhaiya 🙂 Mr. Comrade, please take your B-grade movie script somewhere else 🙂 If indeed this Manas Deka guy said that on the phone, chances are that he has WORK assigned to him. He has a JOB, you know… I can imagine you have no idea what that is…
The theater of the absurd continued with this tweet, which was so silly that even Kanhaiya’s media cheerleaders didn’t post it in their reports:
I guess, now that Kanhaiya sees himself as the one and only Lord Krishna, he is given to such delusions that there is only one Manas Deka in the whole world.
The most hilarious thing about The Wire article reporting on Kanhaiya Kumar was this addendum :
“This article has been revised as the earlier version stated that Kumar himself was filing an FIR against the accused. “
Of course 🙂 The Wire should fire the “journalist” who actually believed that Kanhaiya would file an FIR. Come on, this slapping, kicking, ink throwing, shoe throwing, egg throwing B-grade movie has been done before by an earlier Yugpurush…and we all know that FIRs are never filed in such cases… 🙂
But if you read that Wire article carefully, you will notice that the real conspiracy began to unfold long before our future PM Kanhaiya boarded the flight. Kanhaiya was sitting in the MIDDLE seat!!! The dreaded MIDDLE seat…omg! You know, let me reveal some secret info given to me by my friend Trolleywallah… shortly before Kanhaiya Kumar was checking in, the person at the check in desk said this to someone on the phone: “I shall take care of it as soon as I get a chance”. And a few minutes later, Kanhaiya was given a MIDDLE seat…
Do they think that torturing someone with the MIDDLE seat is the right way to fight dissent?
You know who the person at the check in counter was? It was a woman by the name of Mansi…From a quick Google search, I realized that Mansi doesn’t just work for Jet Airways, but also for Reliance, for Adani, for Tata and is also a BJP worker from Uttar Pradesh…
Fortunately, Modi’s dictatorship fails again… the problem of bad seats has now been solved:
Well, maybe not for ALL of us, but at least for the Communist royalty.
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