Why is innocent JNU scholar Umar Khalid in hiding?

Today I will give you the most plausible theory on why poor Umar Khalid has gone into hiding. They say that the nation’s most innocent man is on the run from the law.  As Shri Sameer Yasir points out, RW propagandists are using his disappearance to argue that he might be guilty.

“His disappearance from JNU led a certain section of the media to level allegations against him, claiming he was a Jaish-e-Mohammad sympathiser and that he had links with terrorist organisations. There were also reports in media, and posters outside JNU in the Munirka area describing Khalid as a “Kashmiri traitor”. A few clarifications are required”

(http://www.firstpost.com/politics/seditiondebate-everything-you-need-to-know-about-umar-khalid-the-man-theyre-calling-kashmiri-traitor-2633254.html)

Thank god, someone finally has the sense to clarify on Umar Khalid’s behalf:

“ First, Umar is not Kashmiri. His parents live in Delhi and he is actually from the Amravati district of Maharashtra. His family moved to Delhi 35 years ago, and they live in the Jamia Nagar area — they have no connection with Kashmir.”

He’s not Kashmiri!! Take that, you bhakts! He is from Amravati district of Maharashtra. Damn…Nitish jee loses an excellent chance to claim him as yet another Bihar ka beta… But what’s this?

“उमर खालिद के दो नंबरों 987396XXXX और 995387XXXX की कॉल डीटेल से पता चला है कि उसने 3 फरवरी से 9 फरवरी के बीच 800 से ज्यादा फोन कॉल किए. जिनमें से 38 कॉल जम्मू-कश्मीर की गई हैं और 65 कॉल वहां से इन नंबरों पर रिसीव की गई हैं.”

(http://aajtak.intoday.in/story/jnu-row-investigation-umar-khalid-call-details-record-reveals-his-activities-1-855433.html)

What? 800 calls in one week? 38 calls made to J&K and 65 calls received from there? Didn’t they say he has “no connection with Kashmir“? That is an amazing number of calls to make/receive when you have “no connection” with an area. But come on yaar, of course there is a connection from Deoband to Delhi to Kashmir to Gaza… how can bhakts understand the true “dil ka rishta”? Of course I am talking about young Umar Khalid who must be having girlfriends…what were you thinking? Didn’t  I say “dil ka rishta”? How can rabid “anti-Valentine Day” bhakts understand this? Just look at this : the calls were all made in the week Feb 3–9, the week before Valentine’s Day. How is a starving PhD student supposed to buy expensive gifts for his girlfriend? No wonder the poor fellow was getting scolded. I feel even more sorry for him now.

The next piece of info will demystify his motives even further:

“यह भी पता चला है कि उमर खालिद एक महीने में 17 बार दिल्ली से बाहर दूसरे राज्यों में गया. कई राज्यों के अलग-अलग शहरों में उसकी लोकेशन मिली है”

What? They discovered that he went outside Delhi 17 times in one month? Ok…come on yaar…so this young man has a lot of girlfriends…a network of girlfriends spread all over the country. Just look at this baby faced young man:

Which girl will not fall for those dreamy eyes? Dreamy, deep eyes, a super smart kid getting a PhD from JNU and a likely bright future with BBC, NDTV and Ford Foundation…how can any girl not fall for this? And so, this 28 year old decided to enjoy his life a little and travel around seeing his various girlfriends…you can’t hold this innocent flirting against him. How would Modi understand this, considering how he treats his own wife? Do you know how little a PhD student earns? And so he stretched every penny to get around and go outside Delhi 17 times in one month to meet his numerous girlfriends.

And now? Media and social media have plastered his face and call details all over the place. The harmless flirting games of a young man have become news all over the country.  Can you imagine how angry all his girlfriends must be? You stupid bigots, he is not hiding from the law, he is hiding from all his girlfriends! 

All his girlfriends must be out there with their sandals in hand, ready to beat him up. Anyone with any sense would know that an angry girlfriend is much more dangerous than Delhi police or lawyers or anything else. Here we have angry girlfriends from 17 different locations looking for Umar Khalid with chappals in hand! What was he supposed to do? And what about that psycho girlfriend who called him 65 times in one week from J&K? 65 calls over Valentine Day gifts!! Would he really dare to face her now that she knows all about his other girlfriends in 17 locations? Would he really dare to face her now that she knows all about the 800 calls he received from various girls? Yes, I would be scared too if I was in his place….