Rahul Gandhi cannot even go the Kejriwal way

This time, even hardcore slaves of the Dynasty are angry :

No seriously, even the stool pigeons of the dynasty cannot help their frustration. Each time they expect Rahul Gandhi to play a Virat Kohli like innings, Rahul Gandhi only goes in and gives catching practice to fielders in the slip cordon. There are only so many times that the flatterers can break into applause as the Shehzada walks back to the pavilion with a giant duck following him across the screen. There are only so many times that the flatterers can say, “Never mind, you’ll get a double century in the next game”.

What was Rahul Gandhi thinking? First he comes out and declares that he has proof of the PM’s personal corruption. See the excitement he unleashed in Lutyens’ Delhi.

Yes! The Shehzada will finally perform and destroy Narendra Modi forever. The young prince will rise like a Phoenix and slay the dragon who has brought a two and half year long eclipse on Lutyens’ Delhi.

Except there is no Phoenix. There is no cat. The Shehzada is a sitting duck. All he did was stand up and flap around and quack around and then sit down again.

Dear Lutyens, the joke is on you! The joke is on YOU for taking Rahul Gandhi seriously. You are the people who have raised him to be the joker that he is. YOU people should have known better than to assume the spoilt prince had a damn idea what he was talking about.

First, he said his comments would cause an earthquake. Then, he says that the Prime Minister is terrified of him. Don’t you see this is the young price recalling fairy tales from his favorite bedtime books? In these fairly tales, he is the blessed young hero born with the sun on his forehead and stars on the palms of his hands. When he breathes, there is fire. When he speaks, there is an earthquake. And this young hero is supposed to vanquish the monster and assume his birthright as the rightful emperor of this land.

You Lutyens caretakers of the prince should have recognized that the prince is just reciting episodes from his bedtime stories. You are the folks who pampered him with those stories. Instead of realizing this, you fools actually thought he was on to something real. Shame on you!

For myself, let me just say I only laughed when I heard that Rahul Gandhi has “proof” against the Prime Minister. For one, the chances of the PM being personally corrupt are ZERO. You all hear that? A big fat zero. Now, I like to keep it real. I know there are a lot of corrupt people in BJP and a lot of corrupt people abetted by BJP. But Narendra Modi simply is not one of them. The man was Gujarat CM for 12 years. If he wanted to be corrupt, he would have  been richer than Sharad Pawar and Deve Gowda by now. He is quite simply incorruptible. You can take those words to the bank.

Nevertheless, I expected Rahul Gandhi to say something at least, some wild accusation. At least something to get the Lutyens rumor mills churning. Come on Pappu, at least you could have done a Kejriwal. Or at least you could have pulled off a Mamata. But Pappu didn’t play Kejriwal or Mamata, he played the only thing he could have played: an absolute idiot.

For the first time, I might agree with some opposition commenters that India as a democracy deserves a better opposition than Pappu. Instead of an attack on the Prime Minister, what we got is this highly satisfying photo op.

How many Shehzadas can you count in this picture, sitting in front of a former tea seller? I can spot at least three. The Pappu led opposition is one of the low points of our democracy and this photo-op is one of the high points… Hey Mani Shankar Aiyar, if you want to come and sell some tea, I am sure that the PM will make some space for you…