Meet the “Alt Math” : The Telegraph’s war on subtraction

Certain Harvard and Cambridge economists and their derivatives in India have been facing a stormy time ever since India’s headline GDP number for the last quarter was discovered to be a solid 7%. By the way, I found this compilation on Twitter of various headlines from “news” organizations. Without looking at the labels on top, see if you can spot which headline came from NDTV:

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This is a problem, since the world’s most reputed economist had already projected a fall of 2% in India’s GDP growth to a rousing reception by the chattering classes.

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Retrofitting reality to conform to the oracle’s predictions can be a bit of a sweat. You know, there was a time when this country would struggle to reach a growth rate of 2%. I wonder sometimes what Dr. Singh would have to say about that.

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But then, I didn’t go to Cambridge University. Not even to the Lennox Cook School.

Nevertheless, the release of GDP numbers gave an impetus to the retrofitting industry in the Indian media. Here is some of that good old Orwellian awesomeness from The Telegraph.

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Who wrote this story? A “special correspondent” of course. Well, he or she must be really really special. Let’s read the underlined sentence again: The estimate was cut to 28,30,760 crore from 28,52,339 crore, thus making the estimate go 1,75,554 crore lower.

Wait. What does the calculator say?

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Hmmm… 2852339 – 2830760 is merely 21,579 instead of the 1,75,554 that I should be getting. Clearly, I am in need of a different calculator to process the “Alt Math” of the left. As you can see, Modi as PM has been a disaster for arithmetic.

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Theek hai!

PS: Get the laddoos ready for March 11. We have won Uttar Pradesh. Now just need Manipur to be a cherry on the cake. 

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14 thoughts on “Meet the “Alt Math” : The Telegraph’s war on subtraction

  1. Dear Chaiwallah,

    To be fair I am sure the government has also “massaged” the GDP growth figure to make it 7.0% instead of 6.9%. But I’m not complaining.

    Why are you NOT talking about the Punjab elections? If the BJP wins UP and AAP wins Punjab overall India would be the loser, don’t you think?

    Also, as someone predicted on Twitter (sometime ago), on March 11th all TV studies will be discussing only the Punjab results, as that is the one place where the BJP won’t win for sure.

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    1. Prof. Vidyasagar, I am essentially expecting a repeat on March 11 of Dec 8, 2013 when BJP won all the big states, but all the media attention was focused on AAP coming second in Delhi.

      What will be the media focus is pretty obvious. But I have resolved to not let it ruin my joy. March 11 won’t be about the media, it will be about the people and their verdict!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I really wont mind AAP winning majority in Punjab, so long as your prediction of BJP win in UP comes true. For me it will be a triple sundae of 1) BJP win in all important UP, 2) Cong losing a golden chance of Punjab comeback, and of course 3) AAP circus entertainment for us for 5 more years in Punjab.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Also, they have already freshly planted seeds of headlines by raising discussion on BJP’s performance compared to Loksabha results where BJP won by 7/8 majority. So anything less in assembly elections can be termed as decline of BJP. Just be prepared for antinational manipulation.

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  2. Shows that telegraph doesn’t do simple proofreading of their articles which a 4th standard student of vidyamandir will do before submitting his paper.

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  3. CW ..thank you for this “Get the laddoos ready for March 11. We have won Uttar Pradesh. Now just need Manipur to be a cherry on the cake.” you know there is massive hatred in Left Liberals news paper like The Wire, News laundary, Scroll, The Mint, Dailyo, Janta ke repoter, now Satagraha, live mint,, People who read these reguraly have a such a massive negativity about rss and bjp. I checked some of the newsper and these are full of anti BJP RSS propaganda..

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  4. Now ‘THEY’ are complaining about everything. From supreme court to election commosion, social media to ‘hardly literate people’…. the most interesting thing is that ‘THEY’ also have lost faith in EVMs. ‘THEY’ are arguing that they haven’t lost the plot, but electronic voting machines have hijacked the mandate. According to them, people voted against DeMo, but BJP however managed to win. Now THEY are questioning the institutions & the organisations who put the GDP stats straight. For them, everybody, who supports NaMo is wrong and everybody, who opposes him, is right, whatever the issue may be.

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  5. And indications from Manipur seem to be positive.The “emas”(mothers) blessed BJP and that is a very good omen for BJP apparently(some NE people said this on Twitter).And a good number of people turned up to hear Modi speak in Imphal.And some goons attacked BJP’s office in Imphal.It clearly means that Congress is frustrated.And that is a good sign.And to add to all this,anti-incumbency against Ibobi Singh(and Congress) who has been Manipur’s CM since 2002.

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  6. By the way,CW,Tripura will hold it’s state elections next year.I know that you are a Bengali and Tripura is virtually a Bengali state so I thought I would ask you some questions.I know that Manik Sarkar is really popular because of his humility and lifestyle(poorest CM in India apparently).What will it take to defeat him and destroy the last major Communist bastion in India(Kerala is ruled by commies but the incumbents usually don’t get re-elected there)?I know that BJP really increased it’s voteshare in the local polls last year(and has perhaps become the #2 party there)but how well can they do in the assembly elections there next year?

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  7. What is so amazing about this CWji.
    We already know that journalists failed 6th class maths.Now from the above we know that they failed 2nd class math as well.
    That is why I believe that detention in lower classes is important as it ensures that children acquire cruciial skills and don’t lag behind.
    The best evidence for th need of failing is this “special” correspondent.

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  8. I have read headlines in numerous anti-India/anti-Modi leftist news media about this 7 percent GDP growth. Some even blatantly compared with Russian’s way of cooking numbers, but most had ‘unwilling’ positive headline followed by…but…the economists suspecting cooking numbers…bla..bla..bla.

    Today, the World Bank’s president gave her Thumbs Up to demonetisation.

    I have a strong feeling that Congress will take a lead in Punjab, but nobody will have outright victory to form government. Let us see if Congress-AAP join hands again?

    Like

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