Dear Prime Minister, are you busy?

Unlike the Honorable Chief Minister of Delhi, I am a functioning adult with a job with professional commitments and responsibilities.  As such, I do not normally spend my days reviewing movies, let alone worrying about the fate of upcoming movies at the box office.

I swear that when I heard about “ADHM” for the first time, I wondered if it is the name for some kind of disorder, like ADD. Then, I thought these letters stood for some kind of government official… an Assistant Deputy Magistrate or something… I tried out a lot of possibilities in my mind. Again, functioning adult with a job, you see. We are not all as lucky as the Delhi CM.

Unfortunately I am now aware that the letters ADHM stand for “Ae Dil Hai Mushkil”, an upcoming movie by Karan Johar. So what has happened? Have the movie crew decided to return the awards they haven’t even won yet in order to protest “growing intolerance”? With elections approaching in Uttar Pradesh and all the award ammunition already exhausted before Bihar, that was my first thought. Well, the problem is that nothing has happened, which is always a good reason for Bollywood to start doing almost anything.

“The dramatic developments began with Nitin Datar, COEA president and vice-president of Film Federation of India (FFI), the apex body of Indian film industry, announcing that its members had decided at a meeting not to screen any films starting Pakistani artistes starting with Karan Johar’s film.”

(http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/cinema-owners-body-bans-movies-with-pakistani-actors/article9219748.ece)

A little bit of googling helped me find out that this COEA is some kind of association of a bunch of single screen theater owners. So, what’s the story here? Some private individuals who run movie theaters have decided to choose not to screen movies with Pakistani actors. And why did they make this decision?

“Mr Datar said the association members from four states — Maharashtra, Rajasthan, Goa, and Karnataka — had taken the decision based on “public sentiments” following the Uri and Pathankot attacks on Army based.”

Understandably, the icons in Bollywood who get to dictate to us what our sentiments should be were not impressed. We know that you folks in Bollywood are cool, beautiful people…but we are also cool in our own way, that being the fact that we can vote with our wallets. So, if there is a storm of public sentiment against Pakistan right now and you just happen to have Pakistani stars in your movie, well…it’s just an unlucky business decision, isn’t it? Bollywood stars who think that India is too disgusting to live in have minted hundreds of crores over the years by making “patriotic” movies. This is the flip side of that. Right now some of you have got caught on the wrong foot. Live with it. It’s called business. Nothing personal. 

Of course in today’s India, anything and everything that goes wrong can be blamed on one man:

@narendramodi Sir you haven't yet said sorry for your trip to meet the Pakistani PM.. It was dec 25th. Same time KJo was shooting ADHM? Why?

— Anurag Kashyap (@anuragkashyap72) October 16, 2016

You are right Anurag Kashyap, he hasn’t said anything. Because the time for words is over. I think he made that clear.

@narendramodi why is it that we have to face it while you can be silent??

— Anurag Kashyap (@anuragkashyap72) October 16, 2016

Because the Prime Minister is not your personal publicity agent. There is an aspiring Prime Minister in a different party who does that kind of work.

 

And face what? Public disgust over employing Pakistani actors? What is the PM supposed to do here? Appeal to the public to watch some movie… again your are thinking of a certain PM aspirant, not the current PM.

Or is he supposed to use his authority to pass some law ordering theater owners to screen movies they don’t want to? And then perhaps make another law requiring people to buy tickets for those movies? Anything else you would like, sir? Perhaps add a clause to this law requiring those people to come back from the theater and then publish a minimum of 10 tweets praising the movie?

By now Kashyap must have been realized that  he was beginning to look like a fool.

And media should stop trying to call me because you are wasting your time,because this all that I have to say and they were not drunk tweets

— Anurag Kashyap (@anuragkashyap72) October 16, 2016

Awesome 🙂 You know you have lost it when you have to clarify to your friends in the media that “they were not drunk tweets”.

Just to make it clear, I complain because I expect my government to protect us, I question the PM because I have every right to..

— Anurag Kashyap (@anuragkashyap72) October 16, 2016

Protect you from what? People not wanting to see some movie? But you got something right at least. You do have a right to ask the PM any question you want to. Enjoy your free speech. The Army makes sure you continue to enjoy it.

We have been vulnerable for long, and have been paying the price by being used by every one to find any kind of standing..

— Anurag Kashyap (@anuragkashyap72) October 16, 2016

Vulnerable to what? The whims of the movie-going public? At one level, I understand the frustration of the film industry. When they look around at their friends in the media, they get jealous. The mainstream media is able to keep pushing its own agenda without having to worry about profits. Because the mainstream media makes its money not through the front door, but through the back door. And the film wallahs are stuck with having to actually cater to the sentiments of the public! How unfair life is…

But, Mr. Kashyap, you are a very creative person. We all know that. You can always milk this cow of patriotism for yourself by making a movie that hits the right notes. Citizens of Bollywood have made lots of money selling patriotism to a country which they say they find too disgusting to live in. You can cash in as well. Or you know, you could just stage some incident with Gau Rakshaks to turn into a superhit in secular circles. You know you could do a way better job than Barun Kashyap any day. Don’t tell me you lack the confidence…

I would rather ask my questions directly to the PM than trying to impress him by fake nationalism of banning "what puts you in news"

— Anurag Kashyap (@anuragkashyap72) October 16, 2016

Agree with you there. I hope Narendra Modi  finally stops goofing off with these other unemployed losers from Russia and China right now..

Are you listening, Prime Minister? Anurag Kashyap wants to know why your government cannot ensure that every Bollywood movie will make a profit. Answer the question. NOW. Are you busy, Mr. Prime Minister?