How to celebrate Janmashthami like a liberal

Friends, the internet today is full of posters celebrating Janmashthami. As such, for easy reference of our beloved liberals, I have compiled here a handy guide of all the things wrong about yet another Hindu festival.

First of all, tell me, is this photograph Supreme Court approved or not?

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Secondly, why is it that we celebrate Janmashthami but never the birth of any female?  Is this not yet another symptom of the deep rooted patriarchy in our traditions? By participating in Janmashthami, are we not sending a clear message to daughters that their birth is not worth celebrating?

Now, take a look at the kind of behavior this festival encourages:

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As Ravish Kumar would ask, what is the caste of the boys on whose shoulders the young Krishna is standing? Look at the young Krishna, decked with jewels, clearly richer than the Dalit and Adivasi children beneath him. And he stands on their shoulders as he reaches for the rich treats in the pot above him. This festival is a metaphor for India as it has always been, with Manuvadis enjoying a rich feast as the deprived keep looking on…

The others helped young Kanhaiyya reach for the pot of butter, but he is always shown enjoying the treats all by himself. Sense of entitlement, my friends:

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Not to mention that images like this, showing a little child feeding on copious amounts of butter and ghee do not encourage a healthy lifestyle among kids and the larger population. One can imagine the thrill of major multi-national corporations at the religious images telling children its okay to eat unhealthy.

Is it really surprising that this entitled and selfish young boy grows up to become a warmonger?

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And he led the Pandavas to fight against their own estranged cousins. A metaphor perhaps for pushing us into war with our cousins in Pakistan? And don’t miss the fact that Krishna was a ruler from Gujarat. Coincidence?

Be a liberal. File a PIL in the Supreme Court against Janmashthami. NOW!

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24 thoughts on “How to celebrate Janmashthami like a liberal

  1. Not to forget the FIRs of theft and sexual harassment for stealing the bathing gopis’ clothes. And under the Arms Act for unlawfully discharging an unlicensed deadly weapon the Sudarshan Chakra at Shishupal. And PETA would like to know how he got that peacock feather in his head-dress. And under Section 302, 34 and 120B IPC for ganging up with Balram to kill the Liberal King Kansa.

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    1. Krishna will always remain the king of hearts. The great and lovable one. I have somehow always felt closer to Krishna than Rama. See, Shri Rama inspires respect and admiration, Shri Krishna feels more like us…not afraid to be mischievous and worldly when situation demands… ;P

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  2. CW, Are you talking about same krishna who never liked/tested “biryani”. bcoz it was from peaceful religion. But he only liked butter.
    Happy Janmashtmi to all.

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  3. How the hell did we get these kinds of liberals in the land of Rama and Krishna ? I can understand if such liberals were found in Poland or Beijing, but India ?
    If India did not become Mao/Stalin land it is only because heroes like Krishna, Rama and countless others walked this land.

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  4. It is amazing how something has been going on for hundreds of years, but our liberals see something wrong ONLY under Narendra Modi’s regime ! Repeatedly their hypocrisy keep getting exposed day in and day out. Even Mehbooba Mukti exposed their hypocrisy when she compared 2010 and 2016 stone pelting in Kashmir.

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  5. Hehehe good article, keep hitting commie fiberals so that they will be more cautious in future when let loose tongue on our holy traditions. No wonder if some hypocrite accuses Lord for fashioning peacock feather. We are yet to see a fiberal who has contributed to the society in a positive way.

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